tired ramblings

It has been a long week. I have done okay with some things and not so okay with others. I wish I could be some great spiritual giant. But I struggle. Not that I have never had a spiritual experience. I have had lots, and received many many blessings. I just feel like I don't really stay in tune with the Holy Ghost. IS that because I am rebellious? Tired? Disobedient? Dishonest? Probably all of the above. I guess Heavenly Father does bless me to know some of the important stuff. But I surely do not earn this inspiration. Do we need to earn inspiration? Hmmm... I wonder. Or do we just have to listen. Maybe I just am so busy being selfish, I do not listen. I wonder. Bottom line is all of the above are symptoms of selfish. If I understand this how do I stop. I think my kids are sometime much more mature than I am. How is that? Okay.... Maybe I need to make goals to be less selfish and to listen to inspiration more. I will have to do that. I commit to setting spiritual yet concrete goals by this time tomorrow.